Friday, October 14, 2011

Chalet Shenanigans

Chapter 1
The Blog Continues. . .

Oh, la, la!  The death threats !  The collective anger!  The abject disappointment!  When I stopped writing the blog, I was inundated with such a backlash, a backlash that I had never, ever anticipated.  You poor people!

I guess it must have seemed to you like I just abandoned you mid-cliffhanger and went off on my merry way.  Did she buy the chalet?  Was it Chalet GooGaw?  Did Mr. Big ever learn more than 4 words of French? 

The answers are yes, no and of course not, you silly monkey.  For those of you who are just joining us, you can either do one of two things:
    •     Go back to the beginning of the blog,, and read all about my hijinks in the land of chocolate and cheese amongst La Suisse, or
    •    Be satisfied with the following short summation.

Short Summation
A fortysomething, American woman, Trailing Spouse, follows her husband, Mr. Big, to Switzerland for his work, leaving behind their three grown children, Small Son, Charming Daughter, Domestic Son, his wife, Mrs. Domestic Son, and their two little children, Grands One and Two. 

Mr. and Mrs. Big rent an apartment in Lausanne, Switzerland where she attempts to learn French, writes in her blog and tries to adjust to the Swiss way of life.  Mr. Big travels all of the time, attempts to learn zero French and rolls his eyes a lot at Trailing Spouse.

In her previous life, Trailing Spouse was an entrepreneur and one of her businesses was an antique/home décor store.  Trailing Spouse is addicted to collecting “treasures” and that passion has not diminished one iota in spite of her change of continents.  However, now that she has no venue in which to SELL her finds, things begin to get out hand rather alarmingly.  Hence, (and this will make sense to no one except Trailing Spouse), she convinces Mr. Big that there is an acute and dire need to get another house.

In France.  At a ski resort.  Obviously, a necessity.  Ostensibly, Mr. Big thinks the chalet is for family get-togethers now and for generations to come.  Really, Trailing Spouse just needed a decorating project and somewhere to display her growing piles of European tchotchkes.
Got it?  Everyone up to speed? 

Before we officially begin, I have a warning and a confession.  Might as well just get them both out of the way right here at the get-go.  The Confession is that, probably, I would have never have re-started this blog if MY INTERNET and MY TV were not both out of whack at the same time. 

The internet at the chalet, where I’ve been spending most of my time, is not due to be installed until next Thursday.  Of course, it was scheduled to be installed last Tuesday, but this is France and this whole internet installation odyssey is one chapter in and of itself.  The French operate in The Universe of France and they could give two shish-ka-bobs what anyone else thinks.

Meanwhile, my SlingBox that is connected to my TV in the US and from whence I receive my cable signal here in Switzerland, got fried by lightning in one of those normal, South Carolina afternoon thunderstorms.  Getting American TV in Europe is also another chapter by itself, but, suffice it to say, that, until the new SlingBox arrives in the mailbox in South Carolina and we bribe one of our US friends with a case of wine to go over to our house and install it for us, I will have no TV.  None.  Can you imagine, all you people out there in the regular 24/7 world?  No, you cannot. 

The Warning comes just as a caveat to those of you who don’t know my writing style.  This is not really a blog, per se.  It reads like a novel.  Sometimes newbies try to comment, but I never answer back because I can’t figure out HOW to answer back.  If you really must comment, you can feel free to do so on the Facebook page called Trailing Spouse Blog.  I will answer you back on that page because I know how to do it.  It’s very simple. 

HERE:  You can comment all you want, but I am like Helen Keller at the other end.
FACEBOOK:  We can chitchat back and forth, trade recipes for fondue, etc.
So, the internet and the TV are nonfunctional.  What’s a girl to do?  Read a book?  Done.  Do French homework?  Done.  Call all the kids and make sure they are alive?  Done.  Should I restart the blog?  Well, duh.

1 comment:

  1. What we really want to know is what was in the locked rooms at the crazy-chalet.
    Though since you didn't end up there, I suppose it's likely to remain a mystery to the world. I'm betting she never agreed to let you see, am I right?