Monday, January 3, 2011
Holidays in Switzerland, Part II
Me: Dude, are they doing what I think they are doing?
Mr. Big: Yes. I believe that we have stumbled upon the Virgin Mary actually giving birth.
Me: Are his hands really under her garment?
Mr. Big: Yes. I believe Joseph is catching the King of Kings. Who cuts the cord, I wonder?
Me: Maybe that little angel girl waiting in the wings over there?
Real camels with two humps. There’s a word for that kind of camel but I forget what it is. Dromedary, maybe? I said, Mr. Big, these folks take this shit seriously. Those are really big, hairy camels. I mean, these camels had to have handlers to make sure that the Wise Men did not get smooshed or fall off or whatever. So, that was all really interesting and quite the learning experience.
The center of town was lovely last night. There were carolers and musicians on every corner and in every Place. It was all very festive and the lights, the decorated store windows and the rich-Swiss-people-watching was at its’ finest. Love, love, love. But it will be a very, very long time before I forget the scrunched up face of the Virgin Mary pushing out the Baby Jesus. I think I am scarred for life.
Fine. But where do you put the water? The man at the nursery looked at me like I had two heads. (Ex-Pats get used to this look. This is a completely normal, everyday thing. We have two heads. We are used to it.) L’eau? Like, who WATERS their Christmas tree? Apparently, only Americans. We tell the nursery man that we will take the tree, but will he kindly take off that stupid wooden frame and cut about 4 inches, oh, excuse me, 10 centimeters, off the bottom so our tree will drink? That poor guy had no idea what we were going to do with this poor, chopped-off tree once we got home, but he took off the frame, cut off the bottom and sent us on our way, 80 franc poorer.