Sorry, I got sidetracked there with my French class. I was going to give you some more scoopage about Tuscany, since approximately 95% of you will, some day, want to visit there. After we woke up in Granny’s hotel there in Castelfiorentina, with aching backs from the concrete bed and being diligent not to flush too vigorously lest we violate the plumbing protocol, we crept downstairs and snuck out without breakfast. We were convinced that if La Familia had seen us, we would have been forced to consume vast quantities of oatmeal and unidentified pork products.
So, we run to the car, complaining all across the plaza about our stupid backs and how it sucks getting old, scoop the map up off the floor and zoom out of Castelfiorentina in a very stealthy and sneaky manner. Did you miss the part where I scooped up the PAPER map?
Dutifully, like the robotic GPS follower that he is, Mr. Big takes the second exit on the roundabout and trundles on down the road, never stopping to wonder why THE ACTUAL ROAD SIGNS in the roundabout did not correspond to his desired course.
*Oh, honey, the GPS must just be out of sync/confused. (Never say the GPS is wrong. To men, the GPS is never wrong. Ever.)
*Well, honey, you might try this little road here. I’m not sure if it is right, but it is going in the right direction. (Of course, you know that it is right.)
*Gosh, sweetie, I get confused too when your GPS girl says “haaalf left” or “haaalf right”. Who wouldn’t, snookums? Let’s just try taking that little road right there, shall we?
***All of the above must be delivered in HONEST TO GOD sincere tones with big, big eyes. Y’all know what I’m talking about, don’t you?
Oh, wait. My favorite Europe—Garmin story. Some couple, NOT US, were driving to the island of Capri in Italy. Hubby types “Carpi” into the Garmin by mistake. Of course, they wind up in Carpi, Italy, which is about 500 kilometers away from their destination. They go to the tourist information office in CARPI and ask where they might find their hotel. Well. You know the rest of the story. The dude in the CARPI information center asks them why THEY DID NOT NOTICE that they never crossed A LARGE BODY OF WATER en route because CAPRI is an island. They made the BBC news, the idiots. Would have never happened if that wife had had a Michelin map. I’m just sayin’. True story, swear to God.
Stay there. You won’t regret it. It’s right in the main plaza and it has a pool and a fabulous backyard bar/outdoor space. Really nice. We, of course, did not arrive in Greve in Chianti at an opportune hour to stay the night there. We arrived at lunchtime where we enjoyed a delicious Italian 2-hour meal at the Ristorante Verrazzano. For you history buffs, the man who discovered the Hudson Bay area in the 1500’s and after whom the famous NYC Verrazano-Narrows bridge is named after, was born in Greve. Cool, huh? Although, the Americans apparently screwed up the true spelling of his actual name because the MAN has two z’s, but the bridge only has one. Sorry, dude! Sorry, Italy! Here is the website to the restaurant/hotel where we had lunch: